Results from the Billy Run

Someone said it was 30 degrees this morning when we gathered for the Wounded Warrior 5K.  All I know is...it was COLD!  But it was fun, and it went really well.  I just wish I brought some gloves.  :-)

There were eight of us at the race...

• Runners:  Bobby, Michelle, and Molly (flew in last night from San Antonio, TX)
• Walkers:  Adrienne and Kelsey 
• Cheering Squad:  Aunt Robin and Uncle Tom (Robin is my mom's sister, and the creator of the BILLY'S BRIGADE t-shirts), and Blair (Bobby's wife, and our photographer)

The course was tough, but fun.  Lots of 5Ks (3.1 miles) are done on the road.  This one was in the woods.  It reminded me of cross country races in high school, complete with mud banks and a water hole!  The race started down a fairly steep incline.  Less than 300 yards beyond the start line, runners had to funnel onto a 2 1/2-foot-wide bridge on the right side of the water hole.  The bridge was too narrow for the mass of runners.  It was like shoving cattle through a cattle chute, or like traffic in DC on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving:  everyone got stuck.  Knowing the clock was ticking, I decided not to wait.  Fording the water hole only cost me one wet shoe and some mud on my running clothes.  And it was fun!

Bobby finished very well.  It was his first 5K, and he finished in 22:54 (7:23/mile, an excellent pace!)

I received a text after the race that made me laugh.  "Did you win?  LOL"  (Very funny, Rachel!)  I think the winner finished a little over 17 minutes, much faster than my 27:06 (an 8:45/mile pace).  It's "slow" for me, but considering the hilly course, I'm satisfied.  Besides, the race was about Billy, and I thought about him the whole way.  Throughout the race, bystanders kept cheering for some guy named Will--which made me think about Billy even more.

It was really fun to gather family and friends to do something fun in honor of Billy.  I'd definitely do it again.  I still want to run a marathon someday.  :-)

The Runners and Walkers. From left:  Michelle, Molly, Bobby, Adrienne, and Kelsey

Pre-Race Ceremony

Bobby's Game Face

And we're off!

Bobby, enjoying a brief section of road. (Most of the race was on grass and trails and lots of hills.)

Hills...

Molly coming in for a strong finish.

Bobby, catching his breath.

Kelsey and Adrienne

Blair (our photographer) and Robert ("Bobby") McCotter

It was a blast! From left:  Michelle, Molly, Bobby, Adrienne, and Kelsey (across the front)

How's Billy Today?
He's currently watching the Patriots play the Colts.  He took a walk this morning, and napped quite a bit.  He's still feeling the pinch, but he's feeling it less today than he has been the past week or so.  (Yeah!)  As has been our custom, we're going to watch a movie tonight.  It's a routine we've gotten into, and the time spent together is something Billy looks forward to.

Ways to Pray

• For the blockage in Billy's intestines to clear up
• For the God to heal the ileus (intestinal obstruction) in Billy's intestines
• For Billy's stomach to start processing food and his body to absorb the nutrients it needs
• For fun, laughter, and new memories that make us smile

Guest Post: The Integrity of our Soldiers

Some thoughts from my mom...

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For 8  weeks now, we've been charting Billy's progress and his fight to beat this thing!  It's hard to believe that so much has happened in such a short time.  What a whirlwind!


When I first arrived in Miami, I really didn't know anyone except Billy, and even he was in a "foreign land" (meaning he was between assignments and in a civilian hospital).   All I had was the name of the hospital, and the name and phone number of his friend Melissa, who had stayed with him at the hospital until I could get there.


In a very short time and quickly, all of that changed.  From the moment I arrived at the hospital, I was introduced to countless nurses, doctors, administrators, etc.  Every title you could imagine, I was made aware of their existence.  I had business cards, phone numbers, and messages to "call this person as soon as possible".  In essence, I was bombarded!  Being the visual person that I am, meeting people face to face, along with having their business card, worked the best for me.  I soon learned to write "who" they were on the back of their cards, and to carry a notebook with me everywhere I went.  I was, to say the least, overwhelmed.  In most cases, if I couldn't picture you, or know what part you played in this drama, I probably wasn't quick to return your call.


However, I had received a call from Cpt. Justin Barnes from Fort Rucker, where Billy was stationed before he went on leave.  Shortly after that, Maj. Derek Smith called me, wanting to assure me that they were taking care of issues on Billy's behalf, and to make sure that our family was being taken care of.  In a very short time, I realized that I could trust Maj. Smith at his word.  He has become a very dear friend, even though we have never "met".


Maj. Smith was there for me.  He listened when I was scared, when I cried, when I shared what Billy was going through, and when I cried  out for help (to get Billy to Walter Reed).  He has been with us every step of the way.  He continues to help us with personal matters, and keeps in touch with us at all hours of the day and night, including weekends.  He is truly a dedicated soldier.  He said that his job is demanding, but I believe he takes it "above and beyond the call of duty".


When we received the care package from Fort Rucker, an American flag and this letter were included.  These were referred to in the blog entry entitled "Camaraderie".  As you read this letter, I'm sure you will agree that these soldiers are a special breed.  As tears streamed down my cheeks, I could only think that more people need to be able to read this letter.  With Maj. Smith’s permission, here is that letter.  Need I say more?

The letter and flag from Maj. Smith.

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Will,

I wanted to send this letter to express my sincere appreciation for your service to our Nation.  It takes a special person to selflessly devote their life to something larger than themselves, something that often brings little personal gratification and is met with more memories of being uncomfortable and lonely than happy and care-free.  You have already served with distinction and sacrificed more than anyone could ask of you.

Enclosed in this box are many of the reminders of your time here at flight school.  Every Commander at every level wanted to provide some small token and I hope that each one hold some type of special memory.  I wanted to specifically explain the flag that I placed in the box.  I have been carrying around this flag for some time waiting for the right moment and the right person to receive it.  It has a story like most keepsakes and it means a lot to me.

The flag tells my entire story.  It is one of two flags that I carried with me through 3 deployments.  It has seen the escort of Saddam Hussein, a wire strike, a slew of fire fights, valorous citations, forced landings, some close friends dying for their country, heartaches, victories and most notably my greatest realization as a Soldier.  While fighting during the battle for An Najaf we were caught in an ambush.  We suffered a great deal of combat damage and delivered nearly our entire ordinance payload for the ground commander.  Throughout the fight we never lost our focus.  We continued to minimize collateral damage and always considered the civilian population while continuing to stay mission focused executing the task at hand.  It was there I realized that every Soldier in our Army possesses something great, something that separates them from everyone else; a will to fight.  The will to fight I am referring to has nothing to do with the urge to get into a fight with enemy forces.  We possess a passion that doesn't allow us to quit on ourselves or our friends.  It is steadfast motivator that pushes us beyond our normal capabilities and compels us to fight with great compassion.  This will to fight gets us through hard times and forces us to always give our all to everything we do.  That compassion and drive is what separated us from our enemies and is shouldered by every man and woman that volunteers to wear our uniform.  This very will is what makes me proud to serve every day next to people like you.

This flag has always served as a reminder of that will to fight and it would only be fitting to give it to you now to serve you in that same capacity.  We are all proud of you and are praying for you daily.

Respectfully,

MAJ DEREK SMITH

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From Michelle:  Tomorrow is the Billy Run (@ 8:30am).  We have 3-4 people (maybe more) running here with us, and a few who will be running in other parts of the U.S.  If you do run, will you let us know where and when you ran?  And will you send a picture?

How is Billy?
He's hanging in there, doing the best he can with what's going on.  His right side is still pinching.  When his side pinches, the pain shoots up to his right shoulder.  Thankfully, Billy seems to be able to manage that pain better.  We want to be able to take him outside, but it hurts a lot for him to move, so we haven't done that yet.

Billy sleeps often, but he loves time spent with family and friends.  This weekend, more family is here from MA.  My mom's sister Robin is here, as well as her husband Tom.  My mom's brother Jack is here again, and his son (our cousin) Ben came along.  It's nice to have them here!

Last night, Adrienne stopped by on her way to PA.  Earlier this week, Suzanne (Nate's mom) came by, as did Ruth and Jonathan.  Kelsey is here often.  Thank you to everyone who has come or sent letters, pictures, and cards in the mail.  Billy's room is quite full of notes, pictures, and gifts from friends!

How to Pray

• That Billy would be able to celebrate and enjoy Thanksgiving with friends and family.
• For miracles. For Billy's intestines and stomach to start working.
• For management of pain, and that the doctors would have wisdom in caring for Billy.
• For special times together as family and friends.

The Billy Run

We picked a 5K! The race is coming soon...so if you're interested in joining us, you'll want to register ASAP.

Wounded Warrior 5K
Date: Sunday, November 21
Time: 8:30am
Where: Agricultural History Park Park, 18400 Muncaster Rd., Derwood, MD  [Course Map]
Details: The race benefits the Wounded Warrior Project, which helps Wounded Warriors at Walter Reed Army Medical Center and Bethesda Naval Hospital.
Register: By Mail or Online
Fee: $35, plus a small processing fee
Email for Race Info: healershelpingheroes@gmail.com


What's a Wounded Warrior?

"They are our brothers and sisters in uniform returning from conflicts in Iraq, Afghanistan, and other areas around the world."
--http://www.woundedwarriorproject.org/

If you can't run, but you'd like to sponsor a runner, let us know.  And if you want to run with us, leave a comment below or send us an email.

Camaraderie

I’m just a civilian, but from what I understand, Billy’s journey in the army is fairly commendable.  In December 2002, Billy enlisted in the army as a private first class (E3, toward the bottom of the army's ranking system).  After completing two deployments (Iraq and Afghanistan), he spent several years in the Old Guard in Washington D.C.  After a while, he decided to go to flight school to become an army pilot.  By April 2009, he finished Warrant Officer Training School, and was promoted to WO1.  From what I understand, becoming a Warrant Officer by the age of 24 is fairly uncommon.  But then again (and Billy’s friends would all agree), Billy’s not a common kind of guy.

Billy completed his aviation schooling in mid-August this year.  He completed a PT test around the same time, and officially graduated from flight school on September 2, 2010.  He’s officially a Blackhawk pilot.

Billy showing my mom the controls inside one of the older Blackhawks at Fort Rucker.

As my parents and I spent time with him in AL for his graduation, we often heard soldiers asking each other, “So where are you headed now?”  Army soldiers and members of the National Guard come to Fort Rucker for aviation training, and then get sent out again.  Some return home to places like New York or North Dakota.  And others get sent out to new places.  When people asked Billy where he was headed, he’d smile and answer, “Hawaii.”  As one might expect, it was an enviable assignment. We all joked about needing to plan a trip to see him.  It was a good excuse for a tropical vacation.

When news of Billy’s diagnosis hit Fort Rucker, people were shocked.  The word spread quickly, and people rallied together to show their support.  Captain Barnes and Major Smith called my mom and spent time trying to work out plans to get Billy to Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington D.C.  One of Billy’s flight instructors would call me almost daily to get an update on “Mac.”  No one expected something like this, and people worked to do whatever they could to support Billy.

I can see that my family’s presence is good for Billy.  He looks forward to spending time with us, talking, watching movies, and just hanging out.  But there’s something different that happens when army guys come in the room.  Friends from the army provide a kind of support and camaraderie that family doesn’t have.  Army support has been a key piece in Billy’s fight against cancer.

Just this past week, he received a HUGE care package from a whole slew of people at Fort Rucker.  I’d love to give credit to all of the contributors—but I don’t know who all of them are.  In the box were t-shirts, hats, an American flag, medals, and a letter.  I watched Billy’s face as we hung things up around the room, and I could tell he appreciated the gifts.  The box spoke volumes.

Sometimes they call it "Mother Rucker."

My favorite hat from Fort Rucker.

A very special American flag, and a letter that explains it.  That story to come later...

Many of the soldiers at Fort Rucker now don’t know Billy.  Fort Rucker—for most—isn’t an army destination.  It’s like college—a place a soldier goes for training to prepare him for army assignments elsewhere.  But the soldiers who are now in training at Fort Rucker wanted to show their support for one of their own, so they dedicated an early-morning PT session to Billy.  Last Friday, they gathered early (I don’t know what time exactly, but it was dark!) to run in Billy’s honor.  Here's an article about the run.

The banner from the run.

An early morning start!

Running Together

Finished!

A video from last Friday's run. (Edited by my brother, Bobby.)

Thank you to everyone who has shown their support.  My family greatly appreciates it, and I know it is helping Billy to fight hard.  I know what I’m about to ask might seem impossible, but please join us in praying that he’ll be able to fly high again.

On the Matter of Prayer
On the subject of prayer, amazing things have been happening!  I sent out a quick message yesterday afternoon, asking people to pray...

They want to do a CAT scan (with contrast) today. It requires inserting dye into his body, which means turning off the NG suction for 2 hours. (This will be very difficult because of the fluid that builds in his belly & makes him nauseous.) Pray for God's protection, for his body to tolerate the dye, & for his belly to be calm through the whole procedure. Pray for a successful scan! Thanks!

Billy's stomach has not been working for over a month.  That's why he has the NG tube.  It pumps the extra fluid from his stomach, so that he doesn't get nauseous.  Throwing up all the time isn't good for his esophagus.

When I heard about the CAT scan, I got a little nervous.  Thus far, Billy hadn't done well when the NG tube wasn't pumping.  Too much time without suction would be miserable.  I wasn't sure he'd make it.  To make matters more intense, Billy would have to ingest 600mL of contrast--and keep it down--until the CAT scan was over.  It seemed impossible!

So that's why I sent out the message.

And late last night, I sent out an update...

Guess what! There was a miracle!  Billy was able to keep all of the liquid in. No nausea! They stopped the NG tube at 5pm, and started him on the contrast fluid. He finally got enough in him by 9:45pm, and they took him down for a CAT scan at 11:15pm. We were back in his room by midnight. 7 hours! I was amazed...seriously. Thank you so much for praying! 

I'm seeing evidence that prayer works.

We got the results of the CAT scan this morning, and I'm even more amazed.

Several weeks ago, when Billy was septic, the doctors told us that it was no longer possible to remove the fluid in his abdomen without an invasive surgery.  The reason was that the fluid was in thick little pockets all over the place, rather than one large collection like before.  Making several punctures all over his abdomen would have been fairly traumatic--as would a massive surgery to "rinse out" his belly.  It seemed like there were no options.

So my mom started praying that the little fluid pockets would all come together.

Guess what!  The CAT scan showed a large pocket of fluid on his left side, near the place where the surgical team made the incision last Saturday.  That means that Billy could have a far less invasive procedure done to drain the large pocket of fluid!  The surgeons plan to take him for surgery sometime today to insert a catheter to drain the fluid.  It's probably infected, and antibiotics probably aren't going to take care of it, so a catheter seems like the best option.

Meanwhile, Billy went for a walk a few days ago, and he went even farther today.  He told my mom that every time he walks, he feels stronger!

His will to live and his will to fight are inspiring.  I am honored to have him as my brother, and I am grateful to everyone who is supporting us and praying for us.  Thank you so much!

Ways to Pray

• God to stop the cancer in its tracks--that despite what modern medicine says the odds are, Billy would be able to beat this!
• Billy to be able to fly again
• Steady hands for the surgeons as they insert the catheter, with no complications
• Billy's body not to need antibiotics anymore (they're stopping one more of the antibiotics today)
• Perseverance and good health for my family as we work to support and care for Billy
• Creativity in battling the boredom associated with being stuck in a hospital bed!

Thanks for praying!

It's More Like a Marathon

I don't think we live in a very patient culture.  Or maybe that's my way of saying that I feel impatient sometimes.  Whatever it is, I can see that there's a long road ahead.

The idea of running a marathon sounds like a lot of fun (at least it does to me).  I've wanted to run one ever since I finished my first half marathon with a friend in April 2004.  I have yet to complete a full marathon--but Billy and I still talk about running one in Hawaii when he gets out of here!

In the meantime, I think I'm learning (or relearning) some things here that may help me in that future marathon training...

1.  Initial Pace.  With new runners, there's a tendency to "go out too fast."  My cross country coach in high school (Ron Keller) used to talk about that all the time, as if we should know better.  We needed to figure out the kind of pace we could sustain so that we could finish strong.

Every day, the surgeons come by and look at Billy's side.  From day to day, the progress doesn't seem all that remarkable.  But you know what?  The pace is what Billy can sustain.  And he's farther ahead every day!  Today, the surgeon looked at his left side (where they made the incision on Saturday morning), and he commented on the lack of redness.  :-)  I saw it myself.  There is a remarkable lack of redness on his left side!  That's progress!

The surgeons are hoping that we'll be able to stop the antibiotics soon.  Billy has been on two antibiotics (vancomycin and something else), and an anti-fungal.  Today, they stopped the anti-fungal because there hasn't been any hint of fungus in his system.  If they're able to stop the antibiotics without seeing a fever, it means that Billy's body is strong enough to fight the infection on its own.  We're praying that will be the case.

The surgeon told us that we're taking this a little bit at a time.  We're talking about slow progress--and quite frankly--we're okay with that.

2.  The Realization that This is Going to Take a Lot of Work.  You can't run a marathon by training for a day, or even a week.  Training well means going out day after day, week after week, and putting in the time on your feet.  And you can't heal from a serious infection and beat cancer in a week.  This is going to be a long journey.

3.  You Have to Figure Out a Way to Measure Progress.  In running, maybe it means you ran the same route a bit faster this week than last week, or you increased your "long run" by another mile.  Guess what!  Billy has made progress.  He got up and walked today!  It wasn't far--but it was farther than he walked last week.  (Last week, he didn't really walk anywhere.)  And he even sat in the chair today.  It hurt, but he did it, which is quite remarkable, because he has been stuck in bed all day.

4.  We Need a Big Cheering Squad.  And I think we've found one.  People keep joining all the time.  Today, we received a HUGE care package from Ft. Rucker--the place where Billy learned to fly blackhawks.  There were hats, medals, t-shirts, notes...you name it.  Billy's room is starting to look like a pilot lives there!  :-)

The orange t-shirt is from my Uncle Paul. We added the red and black ones from Ft. Rucker today.

More gifts from our cheering squad.

5.  There Are All Kinds of Reasons to Give Up--and You Have to Ignore Them to Finish.  There are all kinds of people who might doubt you will make it, and there are a whole slew of excuses.  I've never run a marathon before, and I could easily let that keep me from trying.  But "I've never done that before" sounds like a lame excuse, and it's sure not one Billy is using.  The doctors have told us the statistics.  Few people--very few--beat gastric cancer, especially if it's stage IV.  The "odds" are not good.  But we received a card in the mail just this week from a woman who works with soldiers.  And she told us about a soldier who was diagnosed with stage IV gastric cancer last January.  He was medevaced back to the States.  Miraculously, his cancer went into remission over the summer!  Billy wants to be able to fly again, and he's working toward that--one step at a time.

6.  Sometimes You Have to Train "One Telephone Pole at a Time."  Early on in my journey as a runner, I often felt like stopping.  So I would pick a telephone pole ahead of me, and I'd tell myself that I could stop once I reached that pole.  Just before I got to the pole, I'd pick another one, and I'd repeat the message.  One telephone pole at a time, I'd finish a 3-mile run without stopping.  Eventually, I finished a half marathon.

We're taking it one day at a time here.  Billy's perseverance in the daily struggle is quite impressive!  He's asserting his independence when he can [giving us huge eye rolls when the nurses step in to do simple things that he'd rather do himself.  :-) ]  His willingness to try walking--even though it was painful--is inspiring to watch.  He's a fighter, and he has a huge WILL to live.

Thanks for everything!  We couldn't do this without all of you.

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Note:  A number of you know that I love running, and I'm usually very committed to it.  You've also known that it was hard for me to leave the hospital to go for a run.  I didn't want to miss anything that was happening here.  Well, you'll be happy to know that my running hiatus seems to have come to an end.  I've gone on a run eight times in the last two weeks (thanks to the company of Bobby, Danny, and Rob)!  And we're planning on training for a 5K.  Maybe we could even get a group of us together to run a 5K for Billy sometime in the next month.  If you're up for something like that--or if you know of a good 5K near Walter Reed--let us know!

Time to Celebrate!

Billy’s Birthday Celebration
We were all looking forward to Billy’s birthday.  I’m not sure about everyone else, but for me, it seemed like we had even more reason to celebrate this year:  despite his having been septic, and the doctors thinking he would not have made it through last weekend, he did!  And every day, it seems like he has gotten just a little bit better.  So a party seemed especially fitting.

There was no official time for the celebration.  We tried, but schedules in the hospital don’t seem to exist.  Or maybe it’s more like the patient’s life just revolves around whatever the doctors and nurses need.  We collaborated with friends and family to prepare some fun things for the day, and sometime in the afternoon, we started celebrating.

Even though Billy can’t eat cake (he still isn’t eating anything), we got one anyway so we could invite doctors and nurses to celebrate with us.  It’s a family tradition to get a picture of the birthday kid with the cake.  Billy complied.

People keep asking us how Billy got the middle name José.  Well, it is and it isn’t his real middle name…

His legal name was William Joseph McCotter Bohren.  (A long name, I know!)  When he went to fill out his name with the army, he couldn’t fit all the letters in the spaces.  So he adjusted it:  MCCOTTERBOHREN, WILLIAM JOSE.  And that’s how the hospital knows him.  Nobody can quite figure out the 14-letter last name, or how in the world José came to be his middle name…

We sang when we brought the cake in the room, and then Danny used the remote control to make the Blackhawk launch off of the cake.  Bobby had found it somewhere on Amazon, and it actually flies!  (Believe me, I know.  My brothers tested it the night before, and had fun making it dive-bomb toward my head.) 

We had lots of guests, lots of laughs, and lots of fun…

The birthday guy!

Friends and Family [See Nate, no mustache yet. :-)]

Kelsey's hand-made pillowcase

A highly-appropriate birthday card.

Billy and the "Mr. McCotter Head"...complete with his own NG tube (a gift from Kelsey)

Bumper Stickers from Rob

Medically-speaking, Billy’s birthday didn’t start out the greatest.  Over the past two weeks, he had undergone several procedures to remove extra fluid from his belly.  One of the more recent ones resulted in an infection on his left side, starting at the procedure site.  Over time, the redness and swelling had moved down his leg.

During the morning of his birthday, the medical team came in for their rounds, strongly suggesting that Billy have surgery on his left side to drain any infected tissue.  There was possibly a risk of dead tissue, but also a risk that he wouldn’t heal well from the surgery.  Given Billy’s situation, surgery poses a lot of risks.  But not having surgery poses risks as well.  The stakes are high. 

In most cases, higher-ranked members of the army have authority over those with lower rank.  For his age, Billy’s rank is fairly high.  (Warrant Officer 1)  But he’s still well-below most of the doctors.  In this situation, however, Billy has the final say-so.  The doctors make their recommendations, and then Billy gets to decide.

For his birthday, Billy decided to forego surgery.  He wanted to wait and see if the infection in his side would go down.

Billy’s birthday was fun—but it wore all of us out.  We all crashed early...

After the Party
“Normal life” in the hospital resumed on Friday—as normal as things could be.  The doctors came back to evaluate Billy, and recommended surgery again.  The infection hadn’t gotten any worse—but it hadn’t gotten any better either.  The surgeon wanted to drain everything he possibly could…but Billy wasn’t so sure he wanted to undertake such a risk.  He decided to wait again.  If the infection in his side became more painful, he’d be more inclined toward surgery.  But if it wasn’t absolutely necessary, he wanted to avoid it.

Today, the doctors came back again.  And this time, we heard some good news!  Billy’s white blood cell count is coming back down (it had been elevated due to the infection in his side), and the infection seems to be getting a little better.  The surgeon—who reminds my brothers and me of Matt Damon—seems incredibly confident.  He thinks surgery is best, and he wants to go for it.  This morning, he admitted that he never expected Billy to do as well as he’s been doing…that Billy is defying the odds, in a way.  (First, by surviving past the weekend, and second, by his infection in his side starting to go down on its own.) 

But Billy is still very sick.  The cancer is nasty and aggressive.  There’s fluid around his lungs, and over time, it’s increasing.  His stomach wall is thickened, as is the intestinal wall.  There are pockets of fluid all around his belly that they can’t extract, unless they do a huge, invasive surgery (different than the surgery on his side).  And Billy might never recover from a surgery like that.  It’s a delicate, risky situation. 

It’s a tough road to walk, watching your brother battle cancer and infection and boredom in a hospital bed.  A couple of days ago, we had a really good time praying with Billy as a family.  We listened to Healer, and ended with one of Billy’s favorite Psalms—Psalm 46.

It’s a hard thing to stare cancer in the face and hold onto my faith at the same time.  It’s hard to know how to live when day in and day out, the doctors paint a grim picture.  Billy is making small steps forward, but he still has a nasty form of cancer that is medically incurable.  Sometimes, the journey still feels impossible. 

In the past, running has been a good outlet for me.  It’s a place I’ve prayed, thought about life, and fought with God.  And it’s a place where God has taught me things about life and about myself. 

Many of you know that about me, and you know that I’ve been fairly disciplined about running—in the past.  But it has been hard to run here.  In leaving, I feel like I’ll miss out.  But I’ve found a few new running partners (Bobby, Danny, and Rob).  We’ve gone out a couple of times, and it’s been good.  I hear it’s important to do some “normal” things in the middle of times like this, so I’m trying.  Danny, Bobby, and I are going for a run now…