Billy's Christmas Tree

I know many of you are curious to know what kinds of things we have decorating Billy's tree, so I thought I'd share some photos.

From the LaBlues

Blackhawk Helicopter (Ft. Rucker) (From Wes & Adrienne)

Boston Red Sox Snowman (From the Stanvicks)

A Soldier Named Billy (From the Stanvicks)

"Mr. McCotter Head" (From Kelsey)

A Grill (From Kelsey)

Holiday Wishes (From the LaBlues)

Snowflake (From Michael and Karen)

From Bonnie and Steve

Freedom Star (From the LaBlues)

Texas HUGS (From Alice)

Anasazi Ladder (From the Clarks)

USA Nutcracker (From Aunt Linda)

Flying High (From Uncle Paul)

Weimaraner Puppy (From Mike and Kristie)

Patriotic Christmas Garland (From the Stanvicks)

Weimaraner Puppy for Christmas! (From Mike and Kristie)

A Hippopotamus Ballerina (From Aunt Robin)

Flying High & Fighting Hard (From Our Family)

Ask Me About BILLY (From Our Family)

The Christmas Tree

Thank you to everyone who has sent ornaments!  Billy has enjoyed opening them, and they've brought many stories and smiles.  Thanks for helping us to celebrate Christmas!

How is Billy?
He has been in a lot more pain recently, and the oncologists haven't been able to figure out why.  Billy had an ultrasound and a CT scan this past week, and neither have showed any reason for the increased pain.  His small bowel seems to be about the same.  The blockage is the same.  He doesn't have a lot of new swelling.  So they're thinking that Billy is probably becoming resistant to dilaudid (the pain medication he has been on since September).  They've increased the dilaudid for now to try to address the increased pain, and they're thinking about trying other pain medications in the future.

At this point, Billy sleeps a lot.  He seems to be sleeping more since they increased the dilaudid a couple of days ago.  Even with his increased drowsiness, he still gets up for almost-daily walks, and he still likes to watch movies with us in the evenings--though he falls asleep a few times before we get to the end.

It's movie time now...so I'm going to go.  But before I do, here are a few things you can pray for...

How to Pray

• For Billy's Liver and Small Bowel.  His bilirubin has been increasing.  The blockage in Billy's small bowel is taking its toll on his liver.  Pray for his liver to hold up, for the bilirubin to go back down, and for the blockage in his small bowel to release.
• Pain Management.  Pray that the doctors would be able to figure out a pain management regimen that works really well for Billy--one that addresses his pain effectively but also allows him to stay awake and interact with family and friends.
• Family Time.  Pray that we'd have good time together as a family as Christmas approaches.  When we heard about Billy's diagnosis, I told God I wanted one more Christmas with Billy.  Just one.  And that's all I want this year.  

Thank you for praying.

Celebrating Life

When Billy goes for a walk, the whole floor seems to come alive.

Walking has been a bit more difficult these days, as Billy has been nauseous and tired.  He used to be able to drink various juices and broth.  The NG tube would immediately pump the liquid back out, but it was nice for him to be able to enjoy different tastes in his mouth.  For the past week or so, however, Billy has felt “full.”  In the past, the NG tube alleviated his nausea; now, the suction tube doesn’t seem to be enough.

Given all of that, it is amazing to see Billy walking.  But he knows it’s good for him, so he keeps doing it.  When he takes his walk, the nurses smile.  Last night around 10:00pm, Billy announced that he wanted to take a walk.  It had been a long day, and he had slept for most of it, but he knew he needed to get up.  We all helped him get ready, and off he went.

Billy (right), out for a walk with Aunt Robin (white sweatshirt), our cousin Bryan (black hat, on the left), and Kelsey (just behind Bryan).

Some of the staff were talking at the nurses’ station.  As Billy walked by, conversation stopped, and people watched and grinned.  It was good to see Billy out of bed!  One of the nurses was quite animated.  She whipped out her cell phone camera and tried to take as many pictures of Billy as she could.  Billy smiled.  It was a joyful moment for all of us.

An excited nurse (in brown) and a smiling Billy.

Billy’s case is a tough one.  It’s hard for the medical staff to see someone so young facing something as difficult as this.  One of the custodians has even taken an interest in Billy, and she stops by every day to check on him.  When she sees us, she anxiously asks about him.  When she walks by his room and sees us watching a movie, she pokes her head in to say hello.  Everyone wants to see Billy beat this.

Medically Speaking
The nausea has been frustrating, and it has affected Billy’s ability to enjoy life.  He has begun taking medication for nausea, and that makes him sleepy.  Billy’s pain medication (dilaudid) can also make him sleepy, so the combination is a double whammy.

Billy’s team of oncologists has been doing some brainstorming to figure out why the nausea has increased.  Billy had an MRCP (a form of MRI) this week to look at his liver and gall bladder.  Unfortunately, the news isn’t great.  The liver and the gall bladder drain into the small bowel (intestine).  Because Billy’s small bowel is blocked, the liver and gall bladder aren’t able to drain as they should.  The byproducts of the liver and gall bladder are backing up in Billy’s body.  The oncologists suspect that’s why Billy is feeling more nauseous.

At this point, Billy is still ineligible for surgery to remove the blockage to his bowel.  (The surgery would be a huge undertaking for someone who was in prime health.  At this point, Billy is not very well nourished, and his body is in a weakened state.  Surgery would be very risky for Billy.)  So the oncologists have proposed a different solution:  to insert a percutaneous (“through the skin”) drain into Billy’s liver and/or gall bladder (on his right side), to drain the fluid that is backing up.  Billy thinks the procedure would be a good idea, so he will probably have a consultation with radiology on Monday (tomorrow).

At the same time, the MRCP also showed a pocket of fluid on Billy’s left side, just below his lung.  The nature of the fluid collection indicates that it is probably infected.  For now, the infection appears to be well-managed.  Billy is still on a major antibiotic (meropenem), and his vital signs (heart rate, blood pressure, and temperature) have been holding steady.  For now, the oncologists plan to leave the infected fluid alone.

Celebrating Life
When Billy is awake, we’re trying to make life fun.  We rejoice when he’s able to walk.  We laugh together at fun pictures and posters.  (Thanks, Aunt Robin and Bryan!)  We watch movies together.  And we enjoy the ornaments that people have sent.

Last night, we had fun opening some new ornaments.  I thought we’d share some with you.

Kelsey's Mr. McCotter Head

From a dear lady in Texas who has never stopped praying for us, and who keeps sending cards and messages. She heard about Billy from her friend, who heard about Billy from his friend, and that friend is a friend of Billy.

A favorite, from the LaBlue family.

More to come!  Thank you for the ornaments, and for celebrating Christmas with us.  And thank you for your prayers.

How to Pray

• For Billy’s liver.  It’s not working right or draining right.  Pray that the radiologists and oncologists would know what to do to help with Billy’s nausea.  And pray for a complication-free procedure to insert the drain.
• For Billy’s bowel.  The oncologists believe that the blockage is from Billy’s tumor.  Pray for the tumor to decrease, and for the blockage to release.  
• For Billy’s spirits.  This is a long, hard road.  Pray for endurance, and for Billy to feel loved and cared for.   Pray for God to meet the needs he has that he hasn’t shared out loud.   
• For our family.  This is a tough thing to face.  Pray for strength, courage, humility, and grace as we work together to care for Billy and for each other. 

A Christmas Tradition

We don’t get to be together all that often, so Christmas tends to be a special time for our family.

"The Kids", Christmas 2007. Left: Danny (top), Billy (bottom). Right:  Bobby (top), Michelle (middle), Chris (bottom).

We have several Christmas traditions, but what we do with Christmas ornaments is my favorite.  After we get the tree set up, we all spend time hanging the ornaments.  But they’re not just any ornaments.  Each ornament means something.

Since we were little, my mom started collecting ornaments for us.  Every year for Christmas, she and my dad work on finding an ornament (or maybe several) that represent something from that year...  Chris has a train from when he was little.

My parents have a moose from the year we visited Yellowstone.

Billy used to make cowboy cookies and fudge all the time, so he has an ornament of Santa baking cookies.

Each ornament means something, and many of them bring back memories.

Sometime during December 2006, we started hanging ornaments on the tree.  I had flown into Durango, CO, from L.A.  My parents, Chris, Bobby, and Danny were there, too.  But Christmas didn’t feel quite the same that year because Billy wasn’t there.  Usually, each person would hang his own ornaments, but since Billy was gone, we all took turns hanging some of his ornaments.  It was fun—remembering stories from years ago.  I hung an ornament of me as a little girl…

…and I remembered sitting in the windowsill of our church as my picture was taken.  We talked and laughed and told stories.  We got to one of my favorite ornaments:  the paratrooper.  In 2003, after basic training, Billy had joined the 82nd Airborne to become a paratrooper.  So my mom started working on finding a paratrooper ornament.  When she couldn’t find one, she and my dad teamed up to create one…

It’s amazing how our ornaments bring back so many memories.

As we spent time decorating the tree, I picked up an ornament that stopped me in my tracks.

I looked at the picture of Billy, and tears welled up in my eyes.  I missed him terribly, and I knew I had to call him.  So I did.  That phone conversation with Billy was really special, and it’s one I’ll always remember.

An Invitation for You
This year, we’d like to invite you all to be part of our Christmas ornament tradition.  Our Uncle Paul and Aunt Linda have supplied the tree.  (We set it up tonight!)  Now, we need help decorating it.  It already has lights, but it needs ornaments.

Tonight, we put the first ornaments on the tree…

We wanted to invite all of you to send in ornaments to help us fill it up.  If you’d like, please find or create an ornament that:

• Commemorates a memory you have with Billy
• Reminds you of Billy 
• Represents Billy in some way

If you’d like to include a story or a note with the ornament, go for it!

If you can hand-deliver your ornament, feel free to stop by!  Or you may send your ornament to:

Will (or Billy) McCotter
Walter Reed Army Medical Center
Mologne House Hotel Room 533
6900 Georgia Ave. NW
Washington DC 20307


Thanks for helping us with this!

So…How is Billy?
He’s doing well.  The TPN (IV nutrition) adjustments are throwing his routine off a bit, but he’s adjusting.  He went for a long walk today, and he sat up in his bed for an hour and a half—which is longer than I’ve seen him up for quite a while.  J

Many people have asked if he got to taste Thanksgiving dinner.  Unfortunately, his small bowel is still blocked, and his stomach isn’t working.  The doctors know the small bowel is blocked, but they’re not sure exactly what is causing the blockage.  Please continue to pray for the organs in Billy’s abdomen.  He would love to be able to eat again.

Thank you for all of your prayers, visits, messages, encouragement, and hugs.  And thank you to the friends who made Thanksgiving special.