Wishes

Some of the most common questions over the past three months have been:

• Can we do anything for you?  
• Can we bring anything?  
• Billy, is there anything you'd like for us to get for you?

In the face of such aggressive, powerful cancer, I think we feel powerless.  We want to do something!

Billy seldom asks for anything.  He likes to do things for others.  I think he has a hard time asking for himself.  The answers to those most common questions have been:

• I don't think so.
• I don't think we need anything.
• I can't think of anything.

It's hard to hear that there's nothing we can do.

So we've been paying attention, trying to notice the unspoken needs and wants.

The visits from family and friends have been incredible.  I often ask Billy about his high and his low for the day--and most of his highs have been visits from family and friends.

Sometime in October, I asked Billy if there was anyone else he wanted to see.  The answer didn't surprise me at all.  He named three men, three of this best friends.  But getting those friends here has been somewhere near impossible.  Two are currently deployed.  The other (Jason) was stationed in Hawaii; he had just arrived there in September, and couldn't take any leave time.

So we were stuck.

Billy has a group of seven men--I think of them as the Magnificent Seven--who he holds close to his heart.  Four of them have come to visit--from places as far away as Kuwait and Germany.  The last three have have been unable to come.

However, things changed about a week ago.  Jason (stationed in Hawaii) was coming to TX to visit his family for Christmas.  A plane ticket to D.C. to visit Billy seemed impossible, so he was planning to drive--sometime just after Christmas--to see Billy.

I got to work.  I contacted an organization in Indiana.  The connection was somewhat random.  (Billy has an army buddy (Steven) who is dating a woman (Lauren) who has a friend (Billie) who knows the man who works for this organization.)  The organization grants wishes for soldiers.  Until now, when they've asked if there are any wishes they can grant, I haven't had an answer.  But with Jason on leave from the army, maybe we could do something!

Jason

So I called the organization, and the woman with whom I spoke was so moved by the story, she personally took on the case.  (From what I understand, wishes are usually assigned to aides, and it can take a while to get everything approved.  However, with the nature of Billy's case, and with Christmas approaching fast, she took it on to make sure the wish would be granted.)  Within 36 hours of my wish submission, the organization (Wish For Our Heroes) had purchased a plane ticket for Jason to come visit Billy.

Once the ticket was booked, I couldn't wait for Jason to arrive!  Once he finally got here, I met him in the lobby of hospital, and we walked up to Billy's room.  I had Jason wait in the hall, and I went to introduce Billy's "Christmas gift."

"Okay, Billy," I said.  "I have your Christmas gift in the hallway.  It's a bit too big to wrap, though.  I hope you don't mind."

"Aright," he said, a bit puzzled.  I could tell by the look on his face that he knew something was up.  I went to get Jason.

He walked into the room, a big grin on his face.  "Hey, Will!" he said.

Billy's face lit up!  "I knew it was someone," he said.

"Did you know it was Jason?"  I wanted to know.

"No," he said.  "I knew it was someone, but I never expected it would be Jason."

Success!  I love surprising Billy!  It's tough to do (though tons of us want to be able to do it, because he's such an amazing brother, son, and friend).

Jason has been here the past few days, and he'll be here a few more, thanks to Wish For Our Heroes.  It was one of the best Christmas gifts we could have given Billy.  It has also been an amazing gift to our family.  Jason has a great sense of humor, and he has brought a lot of laughter and fun to all of us.  We are so glad to have him here!

Working on Adrienne's puzzle...(clockwise, from bottom left)... Jason, Bobby, Danny, Sarah (Jason's girlfriend and a new friend of ours), and Jill (our mom). [Many thanks Adrienne! It's a tough puzzle!]

Family and friends came in over the weekend to be with Billy... Back, from left: Bobby, Jason, Chris, Danny, Dustin. Front, from left:  Blair, Jill (Mom), Sarah, Michelle. Our dad (Ken) arrived late Sunday night and is not in the picture.

So, How is Billy?
There was some urgency to the "wish request" for Jason to visit Billy.  I am sad to say that Billy's condition has worsened significantly, and we're not sure how much longer we'll have him around.  I wanted to Jason to be able to see Billy, and I wasn't sure if after Christmas would be too late.  Jason got to see Billy on Saturday.  There has been a significant decline since then.

Billy's liver is starting to fail as his pain level continues to rise.  His dose of dilaudid keeps increasing.  There's not much else the medical team can do, other than try to make him as comfortable as possible.

We're working on one more wish for Billy.  He never said it out loud, but everyone who has seen Billy and Buddy together know that Buddy is very special to him.

Billy and Buddy

So we're working with Sam (Buddy's current caretaker and a new found friend) and Wish For Our Heroes to get Buddy to D.C. to see Billy.  We've been working on it since last week, and the details are falling into place.  My mom and I shared the plan with Billy this morning, and he grinned.  It would be a very special Christmas present, so lease pray that everything would work out!

We have a few more prayer requests for now:

• Pain Management.  There's a tricky balance between management of pain and excessive sleepiness.  Billy's pain has jumped up a lot (even in the past few hours), and the doctors are trying to do what is best.
• Selling Billy's Jeep.  He had planned to sell it while he was in Miami (on leave from the army, between his departure from Ft. Rucker and his arrival in Hawaii).  We've posted the Jeep at cars.com. Please pray that the Jeep would sell (and feel free to spread the word!)
• Care for Billy.  Please pray that we would know what Billy needs, even when he doesn't or can't tell us what that is.
• Christmas.  It could be tough.  Pray for grace and peace in our family, and creativity as we try to celebrate this year.  

Thanks so much for everything.  We could not do this without all of you!

Fun Surprises!

Life has been a lot more fun over the past week or so.  Things are still a bit unfamiliar, and life is very different than it had been—but now that Billy’s infection is somewhat under control, daily life seems a lot less heavy.

Saturday was a great day!

Bobby, Danny, and I got up around 9:00am to do some “corporate exercise” (as Bobby called it), and then we went for a run.  We washed up and prepared to meet my mom and our friend, Melissa, for lunch in the courtyard.  (Every weekend, there has been some kind of free catered lunch for everyone “on post.”  This week, there was all kinds of German food for Oktoberfest.)

As I sat down to eat, my mom came up to the table, and someone covered my eyes from behind.  I felt the hands…definitely a woman’s hands.  They were small.  Smooth skin.  A ring on the right hand.  None on the left.  “She’s definitely not married,” I said.  Everyone laughed.  I had a suspicion in my mind, but immediately dismissed it.  It couldn’t be Sara…but it was!  My room mate, coworker, and friend—Sara—had driven down to visit me from State College.  I LOVE surprises—and few people ever manage to pull them off for me.  But somehow Sara does—and she gets my family to help her do it.

(She met Billy through facebook last February when she was trying to figure out the recipe for my traditional birthday dessert.  And my mom had known since Wednesday that Sara was planning on coming!  Those three are so sneaky!)

We all finished lunch, and then Sara and I headed to our rooms to drop off some mail she had brought for me.  I started to show her around, and then I realized she had already been there!  On the bed was a turquoise-colored bin, full of some of my things.

Evidence that someone had been in my room...

I turned to put some leftovers from lunch in the fridge, and I saw more evidence.  It had been nearly empty earlier that morning, and now it was fully stocked!  I was blown away.

A fully-stocked fridge.

“What in the world?” I asked, confused.  “Your mom helped me load the fridge earlier,” she said with a smile, clearly pleased that her surprise had worked so well.  But she wasn’t done with the show-and-tell.  “I know you haven’t been able to cook here,” she said, “so I brought you a few things.”

But before you’ll understand how amazing all of this is, I need to share a little more about myself.

On August 20, 1993, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.  I had gone to the doctor’s office for a sports physical for 7^th grade volleyball, and we found out that day that there were tons of large ketones in my urine, and my blood sugar was 732mg/dL.  (Normal is around 80mg/dL.)  I was admitted to the hospital that afternoon.

It’s amazing how a diagnosis can change everything. 

It’s hard to explain all the ways that diabetes has affected my life.  I don’t let it limit me from living life as fully as I can—but it certainly makes life more challenging.  I try to eat carefully, to exercise daily, and to keep my blood sugars in my target range as much as possible.  It requires a lot of time, effort, resources, and perseverance—among other things.

In type 1 diabetes, something crazy happens in the immune system.  For some reason, the body decides that the pancreas—or, rather, the cells in the pancreas—are the enemy.  It’s the job of the immune system to kill enemy objects in the body, and so the immune system attacks some of the cells in the pancreas.  Those cells make insulin.  When I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in 1993, it meant that my body would eventually no longer be able to make any insulin.

Why does insulin matter?  Well, when you eat, the food gets broken down into sugar.  The digestive system places the sugar in the blood stream.  Insulin allows the sugar to pass from the blood to the muscles, so that the body has energy.  Without insulin, the sugar stays in the blood, and the muscles starve.  The muscle tells the liver, “Hey, we need more energy!”  So the liver says, “Right, I’m on that,” and starts breaking down fat and turning it into sugar.  The sugar goes into the blood, and the liver thinks it’s done.  But there’s no insulin.  So the muscles repeat their message.  The liver breaks down more fat.  And the blood sugar continues to rise.

That’s why, on August 20, 1993, my blood sugar was 732mg/dL.  It’s why my body had lost so much weight (20 or so pounds over 2-3 weeks).  I was a very sick kid.

To deal with this situation, a person with type 1 diabetes takes insulin.  And checks her blood sugar level often.  And exercises.  And watches the kinds of foods she eats.  And drinks water.  And takes vitamins.  And does any of the 50 other things that people with diabetes do to be healthy.  It’s a daily job, and it’s a big job.

Eye damage.  Kidney damage.  Damage to the circulatory system.  Heart problems.  Gangrene.  Amputations.   It’s not good.  Every time the blood sugar goes too high, it can cause damage.  And low blood sugars can be dangerous.

Lots of things affect the blood sugar.  Exercise can make it go down.  Food makes it go up.  Different kinds of food affect the blood sugar in different ways.  Insulin makes the blood sugar go down.  It’s a crazy balancing act.

Usually, I check my blood sugar often.  To control my levels, I take a certain amount of insulin, based on the carbohydrates I eat.  So to take an accurate dose, I count the carbohydrates I eat.  Often, I weigh my food on a scale, or measure it with a measuring cup.  If I can’t measure, I have to guess.  Sometimes I’m right; sometimes I’m wrong.  Some foods are easy to guess—like green vegetables.  And some foods are really tough, like breaded chicken tenders or pizza.

Here at Walter Reed, we have a place to stay, but it’s sort of like a hotel.  We don’t have a kitchen, so we eat in the cafeteria most of the time.  (And the cafeteria has lots of foods like breaded chicken tenders and pizza.)  That means lots of guessing for me.  Also, unfortunately, the cafeteria food here isn’t all that healthy.  Ironically, the hospital cafeteria food can make controlling my blood sugar really difficult. 

And all of this is what makes Sara’s surprise for me so amazing.

Before she came, she spent hours and hours cooking for me...

• She made my special kind of pasta and measured out individual portions.  Then, she put each serving in a baggie, and labeled each bag with the nutrition facts.

Barilla Plus Pasta (Made from Beans!), divided into 2oz Portions, each in its own baggie--and all in a big bag with the nutrition facts written on it!

• She made spinach and beef enchiladas on low carb tortillas (my favorites!), and wrapped each one in its own Ziploc baggie.
• She bought me two containers of FAGE  Greek yogurt, because that’s what I usually eat for breakfast every day. 
• Because veggies are so easy for me to guess on, and because they’re so good for me, I’ve learned to cook them in all sorts of fun ways.  I love to eat them!  And I love to teach people how to cook them.  This past year, I introduced Sara to roasted veggies, and she loves them that way.  So guess what!  She roasted a bunch of veggies and packed them in bags for me!
• And…she got everything together so that we could make some my favorite slow-cooker chili recipe.  I already had the slow cooker with me.  She brought kidney beans, canned tomatoes, tomato sauce, a can opener, containers of spices, measuring spoons, diced peppers and onions, and already-browned ground beef!  It’s all ready for me to combine in the slow cooker, so that we can eat some delicious, healthy, carb-counted meals!  

Ingredients for my favorite chili recipe!

We have no way to brown the ground beef, or cut veggies, so she did all that too!

I’m here to care for Billy and to be with my family.  If I absolutely need help, I’ll ask—but if I can do something on my own, I will.  [I know, I know.  I should ask for help.  People tell me that all the time!  And they tell Billy the same thing.  We don't listen very well.  :-)]  I don’t want to take things I don’t need, and I don’t want to ask too much of people.  I would never have thought to ask for such a gift!  And I am blown away by how much Sara knows me and loves me and has made it easier for me to be here.  Food is a simple thing, really.  But for me, it can be so complicated.  Sara’s work made food easier.

It wasn’t always this way.  When Sara and I first started living as room mates, we didn’t always get along very well.  Sara didn’t understand why I spent so much time preparing food.  But she’d hear me talk about diabetes, and she heard me talk about the ways I felt really loved by my brother Billy (especially the ways he’d do things for me or spend time with me).  Sara was determined to love me, so she started to get creative… 

It’s not that diabetes is a drag.  I certainly don’t want to burden anyone else with it.  But if I’m completely honest, it hasn’t been the easiest thing for me here.  And without me even saying much about it, Sara knew what I’d need, and she worked to make that happen.  And she surprised me with all of it!  It’s something Billy would have done.  One of those ninja-like moves.

It makes me think of Billy, and of my mom.  The three of us love surprises, and we love surprising other people.  So Saturday was a good day…full of some of my favorite things and favorite people.  And Sara finally got to meet some of the family I have talked so much about.  She’s definitely a keeper!

Michelle and Sara

So how is Billy?
He’s doing well!  Despite being stuck in a hospital bed (it’s too painful and draining to get up and walk), he smiles often.  His sense of humor is very much alive, and he seems to get a kick out of all the times my brothers pick on me.

The infection in his side is still healing.  One of the surgeons made a small incision on Saturday morning, and the infection has been draining ever since.  The surgical team is hoping that the infection will drain all the way and heal fully.  His white blood cell count is at 7, and the normal range is 4-10, so his immune system seems healthy.  If the infection in his left side heals fully, they want to try stopping the antibiotics to see if his body handles it well.  If there is no fever at that point, they can discontinue the antibiotics altogether.  We’re praying for that.

People have been asking about chemo.  When’s he getting the next round?  Chemo is incredibly hard on the immune system; it can knock a healthy immune system down to almost nothing.  So it’s important that a patient have a very healthy, infection-free body before any chemo gets administered.  Billy can’t have chemo until the infection is all gone.  Chemo is also hard on the liver, and Billy’s liver hasn’t been working at its full capacity.  Until his liver is working right, he can’t have more chemo.  So those are some things you could pray for—a healthy immune system, no infection, and a fully-functioning, healthy liver.

Billy also hasn’t been able to eat, but he’d like to!  So please pray for his intestines and his stomach to begin working properly.  Billy would love to take out the NG tube and to enjoy food again!

For now, we’re taking things one step at a time.  The step we’re on is caring for the infection in his side and waiting for that to heal…

Thanks for all of your visits, words of encouragement, cards, letters, gifts, and prayers!  We really appreciate it!

Sharing Stories

I woke to a phone call this morning.  This time, my dad was calling to ask Bobby (my brother) to bring something to the hospital when he came, and to let us know that Billy would be moving to a new room today.

Billy has been in the medical ICU since Wednesday afternoon.  Today, he woud be moved to the MICU/PICU (“meekoo peekoo” as Bobby called it). 

Around noon, my mom, Bobby and I stood in Billy’s room as the nurse prepared for the move.  Billy was sleeping.  I don’t know how it happened, but somehow, we started swapping stories of some of the dumb stuff we did as kids…

Our neighborhood was really hilly, and we had gone for a family bike ride.  Most of us had been on bikes.  Bobby, on the other hand, was too small for a bike, so he had ridden his little red tricycle.  (As my mom told the story, Bobby had the kind of face that tells you he didn’t remember this one at all.  That face makes me laugh.)  During the ride, someone had decided to head up Glenisle.  The only way back home was down hill—and most of those hills were fairly steep.  I guess we weren’t thinking ahead.  Eventually, we reached the end of the street and rounded the corner, starting our descent down Crestview (a big hill).  All of a sudden, Bobby’s little “trike” started going faster than his little legs could handle.  And my mom had panicked.  We all laughed as my mom relayed the story of Bobby’s terror.  He couldn’t stop his trike.  Eventually, the front wheel of his trike collided with the curb on the sidewalk, and he went flying.  The story made us laugh; it was a good one to remember.

There were others—of Danny flying over the handlebars of his bike, or of Danny using a bike that Chris had told him not to use, and the front wheel falling off.  All of the stories brought laughter.  The nurse even chimed in with a story of his own.  In college, he and his fraternity brothers had decided to ride in the trash cans with wheels on the bottom.  The trash cans moved so fast down the hill, they got written up for speeding.  The police clocked them going 65mph!

Sometime during the telling of the stories, Billy woke up.  He just sat and listened, and smiled.  It’s good to see that smile.

All of this made me start thinking about story-telling.  As the McCotter/Bohren kids have gotten older, we’ve started telling stories of the crazy things we did as kids—things my parents never knew about.  And usually, we end up laughing so hard our stomachs hurt.  I’m hoping for some story-telling sessions with Billy sometime. 

Some days in the hospital, it feels like a bad dream that won’t end.  Other days, there’s not much that changes.  Today, other than Billy’s move to a new room, not much changed. 

During the slower times, we (Billy’s family and friends) get to spend time with each other.  I’m meeting people I’ve heard Billy talk about but have never met—or seeing some of his friends that I haven’t seen for a long time.  Today, I got to meet Nate's mom (Suzanne) and two sisters (Becca and Robyn).  Rob has been here, as well as Kelsey, and Melissa and Tyler.  It’s fun to hang out with people who have meant so much to Billy.  And as we hang out, we share stories.  Even though Billy is the patient, I think we’re all in need of healing in some way, and story-sharing is another form of medicine that hospitals can’t provide.    

Moving, Chemo, PayPal, and a Whole Lot of Friends

I know it's been a while since I last wrote an update.  In a situation like this, 24 hours can feel like an eternity.  Even being here,  sitting with Billy, hearing doctors and nurses answer questions, and watching as his treatment continues, 1 day feels like forever.  The time passes so fast--but so much happens, it's hard to believe we call that a day.

Today marks one week since Billy was diagnosed.  10 days since he first checked into the emergency room.  A collection of eternities.  But even in this crazy, mixed up, bizarre situation, amazing things are happening.  I thought I'd give an update on some major things (sort of an FAQ, if you will), and then share some highlights from the past 36 hours or so.

So when is Billy moving to Fort Gordon?
Well, he may or may not go to Fort Gordon.  But don't panic!  This may be a very good thing!

The original idea, as we understand it, was to have the army medical team assess him at Fort Gordon, and then he would be sent somewhere for treatment.  The army wanted to put him in a place that felt like home.  But anyone from Colorado knows that Colorado is a huge place.  Durango is a decent-sized town, but it's 4 hours from the nearest city (Albuquerque, NM), and it's 6+ hours from Fort Carson (an army hospital location).  Colorado is where we grew up, but it's not where most of the "kids" (including Billy) feel at home.  "Home" is with the people we've loved deeply and shared significant life experiences.  For Billy, "home" is with his family and with the army.  Home is defined by people, not geography.

So my mom, Danny, and I were brainstorming, and we started thinking about where "home" might be for Billy.  He wants to be in an army hospital.  The more we talked, the more Walter Reed made sense.  It's in Washington D.C.  It has an outstanding reputation, and it would give lots of people access to Billy.  Regarding airports, BWI and Washington-Dulles are both very close.  D.C. is relatively close to my mom's side of the family (in MA), and it would be easier for our immediate family to come see him.  Walter Reed just made sense.

The “Williams Cousins” at Kelly and Kyle's wedding this past August.

But it doesn't matter what we want.  What matters is what Billy wants.  Last night, my mom mentioned the idea of Walter Reed to Billy.  Not only did we want to see if Billy could ultimately go to Walter Reed; we wanted to see if he could go to Walter Reed directly, skipping Fort Gordon altogether.  But her delivery of the question was hilarious.  Earlier that night, the nurse had started Billy on a nutrition feed (Yay!  He's getting nutrients now!).  My cousin, Bryan, asked him what he was having for dinner.  "A cheeseburger!" Billy quipped, as a wry grin spread across his face.  (He thinks he's so clever!)  We all laughed.  (His sense of humor is very much there!)  So anyway, as my mom was explaining the Walter Reed idea, talking about how much more sense it made for him to move directly to D.C., the excitement in the room started to build.  My mom, just going with the flow of the conversation, chimed in with another thought.  "Yeah!  Why have a cheeseburger when you can have a steak!"  The room erupted in laughter.  A cheeseburger and a filet?  What an analogy!  And then she caught herself.  Turning to me, she said, "'Chelle, if you write about this on the blog, make sure that Fort Gordon doesn't end up feeling like chopped liver, okay?"  It's not that we don't appreciate Fort Gordon.  It's just that a move directly to D.C. makes a lot more sense.

So when is Billy moving to D.C.?  Well, we don't know.  We haven't gotten the 100% clearance that he will be moving to D.C.  It's just what he wants and what we want.  It makes the most sense.  We're just waiting to hear back from the army.  He can't move until chemo finishes, and he'll finish his last bag on Friday/Saturday around midnight.  So it could be soon, but we're not 100% sure when it will happen.  We will keep you posted, and we'll let you all know when we know.

So, how's the chemo?  Has he responded to it yet?
There was some rumor that there would be a CAT scan yesterday to see if he had responded to the chemo.  The rumor was not true.  We spoke with the oncologist, and he helped us understand a lot more what's going on.  The chemo will take weeks--not days--to have its effect.  We won't know for a while. 

The chemo seems fine.  Billy is very sleepy these days.  He feels worn out today and is sleeping a lot.  But, he also took a shower today (a significant effort), he took a "walk around the block" (translation:  a stroll around the 5th floor), and he sat up in a chair for a while (he has been in the hospital bed most of the time).  So right now, he's sleeping.  It's hard to say if the sleepiness is from the chemo, from the activity, or from any of the various medications he's on.  The chemo is going to deliver it's blow at some point, and it will wear him out; we're just not sure when that will happen.  The chemo can--and probably will--hit his red and white blood cells.  So that puts him at risk for infection.  (If you're thinking of coming to visit...please make sure you stay healthy!)  We're doing our best--and the nurses are doing their best--to keep him healthy.  It's one thing you can pray for--that his body would stay healthy and would heal quickly while the cancer cells die.

What about the PayPal account?  Isn't the army covering medical costs?
Well, yes, the army is covering the medical costs.  At first, we didn't know what costs would come up, so Billy's close friends set up the account for people to give.  But as time has progressed, it has become clear that although Billy's medical costs are being covered, there are a lot of external expenses that are not.  (Many people have stepped in to help, and they have given generously.  Thank you to all for your time, your prayers, and your financial support!  We are in awe of the ways people have responded to help out, and "thank you" never feels like enough.)  That said, our family is all spread out, and it is going to be expensive for everyone to fly back and forth.  There are living expenses that will build over time as his treatment continues.  So any funds that are given to the PayPal account will be used toward the needs that come up during Billy's treatment. 

I know that PayPal doesn't work for everyone.  We are working on some other options.  We will let you know once something is set up.

Again, thank you to all who have given.  We are in awe of the generosity we have witnessed.

Visitors
Family and friends from all over have come to see Billy.  Hugs are exchanged.  Stories are told.  Laughter happens.  It’s good medicine for us, and it offers all of us things that the hospital can’t quite give.  Some recent guests...

• Danny – the youngest of the Bohren/McCotter family, who flew in from L.A. and surprised Billy yesterday morning
• Bryan – our cousin from MA (left-most cousin in the picture above).  He has younger 3 sisters and calls Billy the “brother he never had.”
• Tyler – all the way from Iraq!

Tyler and Melissa

• Nate – all the way from Germany!

Billy and Nate

• Dustin – an army buddy who drove 20 hours one way to see Billy (even though he just had a baby!)

Dustin and Billy

•  Scott – a childhood friend of Dustin’s who had met Billy years ago

And the faithful friends who are still around…

• The Lyew-Ayee clan:  Melissa …Melissa parents Doug and Judy…Melissa’s sister Laurie, and her 3 kids…Melissa’s sister Stephanie and her 3 kids…Melissa’s brother, Jonathan…Melissa’s cousin, Warren

Melissa, Laurie, and Warren

• Melissa and Tyler’s pastor (Matthias) and his wife, Danielle
• My mom

My mom (Jill) and Billy

Becoming Family
It’s starting to feel like a big family here.  We’re all in this together, and the support of family and friends has been outstanding and amazing.  Some snapshots…

I spoke with a close friend the other day.  Her children pray every night for my brother and my family.  I was overwhelmed (in a good way) with how far and wide this is reaching…that parents would tell their children (who are 6 and 3) about my brother, and that the kids would pray.  My friend tells me that they pray every night for us, “and,” she said, “that’s a good thing.  They’ll be praying for a long time.  They’re still praying about the oil spill.”  I laughed.  How could children who have never met my brother persevere in prayer so much?

Another friend sent me a text with a picture.  They haven’t met Billy either.  I think the picture says more than words ever could.



And finally, my room mate, coworker, and dear friend, Sara, did something that blew me away.  Last Thursday was the day I heard about Billy’s diagnosis.  As I sat in my office at home and told Sara what was happening, I remembered a story from last year, from a 20-something friend (Daniel) who had been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma…

His had family decided to create a t-shirt on his behalf Daniel and his wife (Casey) to help rally people together.  Every Wednesday, we’d all wear the t-shirt and pray for Daniel’s healing.  After several months of chemo, Daniel was declared disease-free.  He’s now healthy and doing well.


Daniel and Casey’s T-Shirt…it says “More than Conquerors” in 12 languages  (The idea comes from Romans 8.)

As I talked with Sara, I mentioned the t-shirt idea.  Maybe there was some way to make a t-shirt to help rally people together.  It would be something that could help us tell the story of what was happening.  It would join us together, and remind us to pray.  It wasn’t until several hours later that I noticed what Sara had done…


Sara and Michelle

Sara had gone and grabbed one of her old t-shirts.  On the front of it, she had written, “Ask me about BILLY.”  When I saw it, I cried, again overwhelmed by the love of my friends.  My brother’s illness is impacting my friends, and they are reaching out in creative ways to love me and to love my family.

Thank you to everyone who has prayed, spread the word, networked, shared information, and just asked how we’re doing.  Thank you for everything you have done.  We still believe that miracles could happen.  In small ways, they actually are.